I Read This Today:

     "Morning," he says groggily as he grabs a cup out of the dishwasher. He walks over to the coffeepot and proceeds to pour coffee into the World's Greatest Dad cup.
     "What do you think you're doing?" I ask him.
     "Hey, you aren't the only one who had a bad night." Kel climbs onto a stool on the opposite side of the bar. "Fourth grade is rough. I had two ours of homework," he says as he brings the cup to his mouth.

For Your Enjoyment

It's been  a while. Here, have some jokes:

Q: What happened when the cow tried to jump over a barbed wire fence?
A: Udder destruction.

Yak yak yak ;)

Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.

Guffaw, guffaw!

Q: What do you call a donkey with ear muffs on?
A: Anything you want. He can't hear you.

Hee-haw, hee-haw! :D

Q: How do you stop a charging rhinoceros?
A: Take away his credit cards.

Tee-hee :)

Failings

The fire alarm just went off.
That's the second occasion in recent times.
And that sucks, because it's cold and snowy outside.
Dang it kiln! You're so lame for smoking and making us stand outside for almost 40 MINUTES.
Blah

Belief Systems

"Cats cause schizophrenia." -Bayles

Fear

"My shadow's scary. It's really tall." -Bayles

Birthdays

"It's the 16th anniversary of when you escaped from the womb." -Mishae

He Really Said That, Yes He Did

Carter: Do I need to confiscate cell phones?
Justin: I am on the phone!

Guess What?!

It's ^^^ Her birthday today! :)

Kirsten Marquis is one of the coolest people I know. She's hilarious, gorgeous, an amazing editor, smart, nice, Golf-y, so very friendly, and beloved by all.

Anyone who is not aware of her existence has missed out on some of the greatest things in life. 

HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY KIRSTEN!!!

(Do you see her awesome necklace? It's Felix Felicis.)

Those Poor Sensitive B-Cells

"You're too sensitive, we'll kill you." -Van Djik

A Children's Book

In English on Monday, Ryan Smith read us a story for his daily presentation. It was great fun. :)

"So you don't grow fat and become a fraggle." -Ryan

The Day Before Today

 

Van Djik taught us about White Blood Cells

(And drew pretty pictures)

 

Someone sprayed pepper spray around the school.

So KPGR peoples made a turf-man.

Also, we had lots of pizza in B3.

Good times, good times :)

 

Hysteria

"Having your uterus all twisted up doesn't make you cra--well, it could." -Bayles

Little Failures Make Everything Funnier

"One two, eyes on me." -Marinda

That one got some applause :)

Regarding Vaccines

Dear Universe,
I just thought I'd let you know. I now know much more about the human immune system. I understand how vaccines work. I feel pretty good about that. I like biology. :)
Just thought I'd let you know,
                                               Me

Strange Ideas

"I'm gonna name this goldfish Kevin, and then I'm gonna eat it." -Carley Sturgis

He Said It About Zac Brown

"I would date this man if I weren't also a man." -Kevin Goodrich

Regarding a Certain Ward Christmas Party

Dear People in Charge of Organizing Things In My Ward,
You suck at your job. And that sucks, because then my Mom gets super freaked out and unpleasant to be around. And then life sucks. So please stop sucking at your job, or stop having parties & such.
From,
         Me

A Couple Things

"I would love you to burn my house down." -Bayles

"That's awesome! I'm gonna start using that around my mother-in-law. Holy Grandma!" -Bayles 

Reguarding The Events of A4 on December 6

Dear Students in A4 Classes, 

If you don't have Yearbook A4, you probably missed out on the best class period ever yesterday. 

• We had a three-way dance off for the Student Council page. 
• Justin FREAKED out. 
• Nobody wanted the FACs page (it was sad, but funny-no offense to the FACs department). 
• And hilarity was infused throughout the entire hour+ we were in there. 

So, I guess you kind of had to be there. Carter got a lot of it on video though, so maybe we'll see that in the future.

From, 

          Me

Brilliance & Stupidity in One

Bayles: What is the climate in Scotland?

Hayden: Scottish.

Sad, But Probably True

"My kids are the greatest toys I've ever had." -Bayles

Dear Universe,

So, sometimes I have thoughts, and they come in letter form. So I've decided to write them down here. Some will be aimed to specific people, or groups. But some will just be general. So, here's my first one

Dear Future Yearbook Students,
Dividers are your friends. Whenever possible, you should choose them for your page (there's no writing). However, do not make the mistake of NOT taking pictures. This is foolish. Do your page, take your pictures, and have fun. :)
From,
         Me

Ideas

"In case you haven't noticed, you've never seen me and Batman in the same place. Iron man either." -Bayles

End of the World

""The only thing that could kill the human race faster is if guys had to have children." -Bayles

Conspiracy

"I'm convinced that Pinterest was created by a man so that women will cook, clean & look better." -Bayles

Yes, Justin

"So my car is run off dinosaurs and dead plants?" -Justin

Oh no! Scary Moss!

"Moss terrorizes in moist environments." -Van Djik